Darryl W. Thomas, Jr. was raised in the Eastwood area of Fort Worth. He suffered from poverty, a distracted mother abusing drugs and an abusive, absent father. His younger brother Quincy was his running buddy and he always kept an eye out for him. When Thomas was just 14-years-old his father passed away in his arms with his brother right behind him. Consequently, at a very young age that left Thomas emotionally responsible for Quincy. He didn’t realize it at the time, but it was then that Thomas began his mentoring journey that would ultimately launch The Size of A Man.
Thomas and his long-term girlfriend—now wife of 20 years this Veteran’s day—found out they were pregnant and, to solidify Thomas’s commitment to Alexia, he proposed to her at their O.D. Wyatt High School graduation. Realizing he needed security for himself and a way to provide for his family, he joined the Marine Corps. Thomas’s father was in the National Guard, but he wanted something more challenging.
“I asked recruiters what’s the hardest branch because I see the Army coming in, I see the Navy and Marine Corps. And for me, I thrive on challenges. They said, ‘Marine Corps hands down.’ So I said, ‘Cool that’s what I want to do then,’” Thomas said.
After being stationed in several U.S. cities and completing two combat tours in the Marines, Thomas went to college. He was a business management major working on a business concept for a class assignment. True to form, he decided if he was going to invest his time, he was all in. He reflected on what he missed in his life, along with his pain and struggles.
In 2013, after Thomas developed his business idea, he reached out to the management at the apartment complex where his family lived in Austin. He explained to them that his program would inspire, instruct and impact at-risk youth that would work to break cycles of fatherlessness and poverty. They welcomed Thomas with open arms and even secured a workspace for him to support the at-risk youth in their community.
“[Our kids] have to have consistency, that’s what we pride ourselves on is giving them,” said Thomas.
Quincy was Thomas’s “why,” but as his life evolved, his purpose included his wife and child as well as the many kids that would later join the family of The Size of A Man. He always told Alexia that he wanted seven children. Now a father to five, he thinks of his other two children as his mentees and the students he speaks to as a motivational speaker. Thomas wants to give at-risk kids what he didn’t have in his father: connection, presence and involvement.
When asked how he approached his non-profit as a business adventure, Thomas considered what he was most passionate about. He said he identified what really hurt him and decided to try to make a change for kids. His ‘why’ resulted in an acronym that would change the lives of many at-risk youth.
“When I look at that word why, w-h-y, that’s an acronym for me: What Hurts You? What’s that thing that really tugs at you, that you would really like to change? For me, when I started that college project, I thought, what did I go through? Man, fatherlessness really hurt. So much so, that I thought I will go out of my way to make sure I’m in my kids’ lives. [As a new entrepreneur] identify what makes you come alive. I knew that for me, I wanted to help kids. Fatherlessness and poverty intersected in mentorship,” he told me.
Thomas was reading scripture one day, and he came across the story of Elijah the prophet. During that time, there had been a drought and famine for quite some time—but Elijah heard the sound of abundant rain. He didn’t see rain, but trusted that he heard it. Being sensitive to The Lord, he sent his servant to check and see if he saw rain. The servant came back and said he hadn’t seen anything. But Elijah was persistent and had him go back to check several times. On the seventh time, the servant told Elijah he thought he saw a cloud. He was very unsure and explained it was very small, just the size of a man’s hand.
This was Thomas’s inspiration for naming his non-profit organization, The Size of A Man. Thomas said, “Those words stood out to me because as the story goes on, from that small cloud that was the size of a man’s hand, came this abundant rain. Sometimes we look at these young kings, and the young queens, and we judge them off of the cover. We approach them as a book not willing to crack open the pages to see how rich the content is. If we can dare to look beyond the cover, and start to understand them more. We’d be surprised. To me, we see them as the cloud that’s the size of a man’s hand, that has abundant rain in them. All it takes is for us to believe in them for that rain to come forward.”
The Size of A Man’s target market is at-risk youth between the ages of 12 and 22-years-old. Their program provides character and leadership development in formal settings and a variety of mentorship levels. The program provides year-round mentorship and group mentoring sessions with adult-to-youth and peer-to-peer mentoring.
They had already been using the community center at Estella Maxey in the Waco Housing Authority to facilitate mentoring, but in January 2020, they took on an official workspace. Thomas believes that this new space will provide more opportunities to serve the at-risk youth in the community.
“We have access not just to the community, but right next door we have the Carver Middle School so this location has so much potential. We’re starting to have more dialogue with the school administrators and how to best help the kids there,” Thomas said.
The kids can stay in the program as long as they want. The entry group is designed for middle school aged students, roughly sixth to eighth grade. Once these kids move into ninth to twelfth grade, or move on to college, they’re encouraged to serve as a Junior Mentor and practice the leadership and responsibility skills they’ve been developing over the years. Adult mentors are encouraged to serve as well.
Volunteers interested in getting involved in The Size of A Man can expect to go through a preliminary interview and background check. Those interested in volunteering are invited to see the process in action. Thomas emphasized that it must be the right fit for all involved and that the mentorship be for an extended period of time, preferably at least an academic year. Many of these at-risk youth haven’t had a reliable adult in their lives.
“[Our kids] have to have consistency, that’s what we pride ourselves on is giving them,” said Thomas.
Thomas told the story of a time when he engaged Midway Middle School students with his motivational speaking. Afterward, one young man was deeply affected from hearing Thomas’ talk.
“After I shared my story and presentation, this kid came up to me and he said slowly, ‘That part you talked about your mom…’ and he let his head down and you could see the tears. I told him, I want you to know, just like I’m here today, I made it through and you can too,” said Thomas.
The young man’s grandmother got in touch with Thomas, to tell him that his talk really touched her grandson. He was on his way to depression and isolation. But after hearing Thomas speak at school, she could see this spark in her grandson and the positive difference that it made in his life. Thomas ultimately invited that same young man to join The Size of A Man as a mentee. His grandmother later told Thomas that his number in her grandson’s phone was listed as, “Life Saver.”
“That’s part of my why. There are so many young people that just need someone to believe in them,” said Thomas.
Purchase “Today… I Win: When Tests Go Beyond the Classroom” by Darryl W. Thomas, Jr. here. To learn more about The Size of A Man visit sizeofaman.org or on social media @thesom8. Visit darrylwthomas.com to book Darryl W. Thomas, Jr. for speaking engagements under Committed 2 Win which is focused on transforming at-risk students into leaders in order to dismantle the school-to-prison pipeline.
Katie Dawson works in Marketing and Communications at Baylor University and is content manager for LaunchWaco. She lives in Woodway with her husband Rhett, John the dog and Mildred the cat.